en mi cajón de sastre
dar besos
maternidad

No obligo a mis hijos a dar besos

Tras semanas, meses, pensando en este tema me lanzo a mostrar mi opinión al respecto. En los últimos días me han sacado cantares por no obligar, insistir, a mis hijos a dar besos a conocidos y no tan conocidos. El otro día salté, no me pude contener, y lancé la pregunta al aire: ‘¿por qué tengo que obligarle a dar besos?’. La cara del receptor fue todo un poema porque no se lo esperaba, pero la verdad es que no entiendo porque tengo que insistirles en hacerlo. 

Ella tiene cuatro años. Vale que es muy pequeña y todavía tenemos que enseñarle e inculcarle muchas cosas. Tenemos que indicarle por dónde ir y cómo ir, pero también creo que ella tiene su personalidad y ella sabe cuándo quiere dar besos y, sobre todo, a quién. Cuando le apetece viene corriendo y da un beso a su hermano, a su padre o quien sea, pero porque se lo digan no, no lo hace y parece que esto molesta.

Hay quien dice con la boca pequeña: ‘no déjala si no quiere’, pero hay quien ni corto ni perezoso salta un ‘¡qué arisca!’, ”qué poco cariñosa!’ o ‘así no debéis educarla!

¿Cómo? Yo me pregunto: ‘¿tú das besos a quien yo te pido?’, aunque los des por cortesía ¿siempre los das de buena gana? Seguro que no, sino que tú sabes que debes darlos y te sientes obligado porque en la sociedad en que vivimos nos comportamos así.

Por el contrario el #pequeñoM, que aún es muy pequeño, es súper cariñoso y besucón y da besos a diestro y siniestro. Con sólo escuchar esa palabra los lanza. Si él quiere darlos, perfecto, pero si no quiere no seré yo quien le obligue.

¿Cómo actúo?

Bien, pues yo no les obligo. Ni a la niña. que ya va siendo consciente, ni al niño, que aún se entera de poco. Es más, en numerosas ocasiones he visto como a mis padres no se los daban y no he dicho nada, si no quiere no hay besos y me da igual quien sea la persona que los pide.

Y de igual forma que no obligo a dar besos a mis hijos, no pido a otros niños que me los den. Estoy segura de que si ellos quieren o sienten la necesidad de darlos vendrán y los darán. Es más, voy un poco más allá, creo que todos los besos debería ser voluntarios y darse porque se quiere, ya que son muestras de afecto, cariño, amor…, nunca debería ser forzados.

Y tú, ¿obligas a tus hijos a dar besos? Cuéntame tu opinión al respecto, estaré encantada de conocerla y como siempre te digo, si te ha gustado o resultado interesante comparte el post 🙂

 

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    28 abril, 2017 at 11:23 am

    Es un tema complicado. Si te digo la verda, mi caso es al contrario, desde niña me han dicho que soy muy pesada con tanto beso y abrazo… No siempre llueve al gusto de todos. Lo importante es respetar.
    Un beso guapa!!

    • Reply
      Arantxa
      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:37 am

      Totalmente de acuerdo contigo Lola. Lo importante es respetar, una palabra que deberíamos tener más presente en el día a día. Gracias bonita.
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  • Reply
    Madre Superada
    22 abril, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    Me ha gustado el artículo! Es un tema del que se ha habla mucho últimamente y al igual que tu, opino que no se les debería obligar a besar a nadie.
    Un abrazo!

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      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:39 am

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    Sara
    21 abril, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    Uy qué tema más controvertido!! Mi opinión es que debemos enseñarles a saludar a las personas, a dar las gracias, a pedir por favor… Eso nunca está de más. ¿Que no quieres dar un beso? No pasa nada, es normal, pero le das la mano, o/y le dices hola. Por educación, y por empatía.

    • Reply
      Arantxa
      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:42 am

      Estoy muy de acuerdo contigo en que debemos enseñarles normas básicas de educación como decir hola, dar las gracias…. pero lo besos…., creo que es algo que tiene que salir de ti. Y eso que dices de dar la mano me parece bien, es otra manera de saludar y no tenemos que hacerlo todos de la misma forma, no?
      Sara, muchas gracias por pasarte y comentar.
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    SANDRA ortega jimenez
    21 abril, 2017 at 9:37 am

    Yo no doy besos, no me gusta, soy de las que le presentan gente y doy la mano. Desde pequeña no daba y era discutiera continua con mi madre. Mi hijo no da sino quiere, no lo obligo, por suerte hay familiares que me apoyan.

    • Reply
      Arantxa
      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:44 am

      ¿Es que si no te gusta por qué tienes que darlos? Yo no soy nada besucona y a veces no me sale el dar dos besos a alguien cuando me lo presentan y la gente se queda cortada, ¿por qué debo dar dos besos a esa persona que no conozco de nada? Me niego.
      Gracias por la visita.
      Nos vemos pronto!!

  • Reply
    Anabel Ureña
    20 abril, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    A la mía le pasa igual, y yo al principio la obligaba por costumbre hasta que leí algunos artículos y me di cuenta de que desde bien pequeños tienen su propia personalidad y en el caso de la mía es por timidez que le da mucha vergüenza, besitos guapísima

    • Reply
      Arantxa
      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:46 am

      Es verdad eso que apuntas, ellos tienes su personalidad y no tenemos porque cambiársela.
      Si tu hija por timidez no quiere, ¿por qué debemos hacerla pasar un mal rato? No me parece.

  • Reply
    Patricia
    20 abril, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    Muy de acuerdo contigo…es q acaso nosotros besamos a diestro y siniestro a gente q no conocemos ???? Porq obligarlos a ellos??? Yo para nada ..q el elija si hacerlo o no .

    • Reply
      Arantxa
      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:47 am

      Eso es! Yo no doy besos a todo el mundo, pero parece que ellos por ser niños sí tienen que hacerlo. Pues creo que no. Ellos se los darán a quienes quieran y cuando quieran.
      Gracias por la visita Patricia.
      Muak!

  • Reply
    Elena
    20 abril, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    Muy de acuerdo contigo. Yo tampoco obligo a mi hijo a dar besos y no quiero que nadie le obligue a ello. Gracias

    • Reply
      Arantxa
      2 mayo, 2017 at 8:47 am

      Gracias a ti por pasarte y por leerme!
      Buena semana!

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